Night Outreach Walk

This week I missed my regular slot again due to comps, so I decided to "make it up" by joining the Night Outreach gang on Friday night. It was a small group: myself, Erica, Alex, Miles, and a MS student in Education whom I don't remember the name of. Let's call her Jen. None of us brought food and only Miles had a dining plan, so he went to a hall to load up on food that we could hand out. While we waited for Miles the rest of us started talking about our experience at the Opportunity Center. I got the feeling that not everyone was getting the exposure that I was... Alex mentioned how she files mail a lot during her shift, often because it's just not very busy. I consider myself lucky for having a pretty busy shift.

Miles comes back with bunch of food, including a couple burgers, hotdogs, and donuts. We all get in Erica's car and drive into downtown Palo Alto. Typically the group splits into teams of 2-3 and take areas of University Ave. to find people. Since our group was small, we split into two and took opposite sides of University. I was with Alex and Erica, two veterans of the night walk. Since this was my first time, I thought I'd let them take the lead, but they didn't seem to want to assume that role.

We ended up serving three people, Tom, Victor, and Wally. Tom wasn't very talkative, but the other two were. Victor was an older guy who had lived in Palo Alto for many decades. He took an interest in where I was born, because he said that a lot of people say they were from the Bay Area but aren't really. He said it was rare to hear of someone who was actually born in Montain View, which I guess makes sense. A lot of people think of themselves being from the Bay Area but aren't really from here, mostly because so many people come here from outside. But Victor just seemed to be proud of calling himself a Bay Area native. He was also quite polite. He asked each of us seperately our background. He asked me what I thought were differences between Berkeley and Stanford students. I told him it may be because of the bias that I wasn't really seeking to serve while at Berkeley, but it seemed like the students at Stanford are ironically more enthusiastic about service, such as the Night Outreach group. He said he agreed, that Stanford students are more generous. I wouldn't say I agree for sure.

Next we met up with Wally, a guy originally from Detroit who had come to California looking for a job. He complained about how expensive it was to live in Palo Alto, and that the $600 he had come here with had gone very quickly because renting a room was almost double from the $20 or so he would pay back in Detroit. He said he was planning on returning. When I pointed out that being here has its benefits, especially weather, he agreed, then added in my ear that the women here are better looking as well. He seemed very upbeat for being obviously poor and unhoused. One noteworthy point is that each of the people we served were very gracious with the food we were giving them. Unlike at the Opp Center kitchen where it's a mad grab and people get pushy, when on the streets these same people become a little more appreciative. When I handed Wally a hotdog, he unwrapped it and immediately started eating it. It was clear he was hungry. But then shortly after he stopped eating and told me that I had accidentally given him an extra weiner, and offered to give it back. I was blown away. Someone in such need practicing equity! I told him to keep it. It turns out that the weiner accidentally slipped out of the bun of Victor's hotdog, whom we had served earlier. I felt terrible for Victor, but we couldn't find him to give him more food and apologize.

On the street that night there happened to be a group of Hare Krishnas who were chanting. Our group had all met back up and were talking to one homeless guy when they came by. I explained what they were doing to the rest of the group, none of whom were familiar. The homeless guy we were talking to started getting into a spiritual discussion, expressing his belief that atheists were ignorant. I find it very interesting that most homeless, people who have so little, have such strong faith. I guess it makes sense because they need something to keep them going.

As we were walking back to the car, Miles, another veteran of Night Outreach, was telling his stories for the night. He had met with a woman whom he knew from before, who was drunk and wandering the streets. He recalled how she had not said a word to him for the longest time until one night some time ago when he met her on a walk he had gone with crutches due to a hurt leg. I told him it was definitely the heart that he showed serving even while hurt that probably got her to open up. Anyway, Miles was saying how on she was now a few months pregnant and struggling to find a place to sleep on a regular basis. Her boyfriend was demanding she sleep with him in exchange for letter her stay at his place, and though she told Miles she was determined to not go there, Miles sensed that she was resigned to going back there simply because she had no other choice. Very sad. Jen mentioned how it was so hard to hold back helping these people more than with the food we were handing out... that one person had given her the impression that she wanted Jen to put her up for the night. Jen said it was a good thing she didn't come with her car or money, since it makes it easier to say no.

I'm continuously impressed with the Stanford students I come across from this group and in general. They just seem very sincere and enthusiastic about service. Between this group and Engineers for a Sustainable World and a couple others that I have come into contact with, it just seems like there's a lot of energy towards doing good.

It made me think about something Paul Farmer talked about when he came to Stanford recently. Most research institutions like Stanford or Harvard (where he's from) are set up to do about 2/3 research, a little less than 1/3 teaching, and the rest service, in terms of resources allocated, etc. Essentially, these institutions are really set up well to create knowledge (research), and disseminate it (teach), and that's what they are good at. And these are great things. But he was saying that there must be a model change/paradigm shift to include service into the fabric of what the institution does, to allow students who are interested in service (and there are a lot) to become agents to effectively serve instead of simply going abroad with some program and being a "spectator to poverty." To train these students, a change in thinking must be made by the research institutions in their role in serving humanity. I found it encouraging to hear such a prestigious person making this challenge, and hope Stanford hears it.

Opportunity Center Week #5 - STOP

This week I wasn’t able to make it on my normal Wednesday 10-12 slot due to comps. I instead dropped in on Friday to meet with the STOP people who were going to be holding a computer lab workshop later in the day. When I got there, the girls from STOP had set up a table where they had bread, cheese, meat, chips etc. for a sandwich “picnic”. It was awesome. All of the members of STOP (Students Taking on Poverty) were younger girls. They looked very innocent and bright-eyed and shy, but they did a great job serving. I learned a little bit about STOP talking to them. They are a new organization who was looking to do various service activities. This picnic was their first event. They have a person who will be coming in to give workshops in the computer lab. I’m not sure what they will be teaching, but Dawn and I plan on meeting up with him to discuss working together to build our tool to help clients connect to employers online.

I met up with Gina who was in the clothes closet helping some people. We started talking about my exams. She really seems to have an interest in my program, asking me often about what I'm studying and how it's going. Apparently her husband is also an engineer. Earlier she remarked to me how personable and social I was, which was a sharp contrast to her husband, who “wanted nothing to do with” the Opportunity Center. Too bad. I think he would be proud of how Gina conducts herself there. Gina also mentioned how she had considered, at some point, pursuing a PhD in philosophy. I would not be surprised one bit, she seems more than capable.

When I asked her how it went with the Wednesday rush without me this week, she mentioned that Gwendolyn was no longer working in the kitchen. She said something about how the organization she was working for redeployed her or something, but I couldn’t really follow. When I think about it now, it seems possible that their past issues may have played a role.

Right as I was leaving, I helped a young girl and her mother unload a bunch of toiletry supplies into the kitchen store room. Apparently this girl had run a drive at her junior high school to donate the supplies to the Opportunity Center. What generosity and initiative from the young girl. I was really impressed and told her she was really awesome for doing such a thing. When I was her age, helping others was one of the last things on my mind.

Opportunity Center Week #4 - Jackpot and Cadillac cont'd

Today we got a "jackpot" delivery from Whole Foods, as Gwendolyn referred to it. Several boxes of pastries and packaged vegetables and dips, and multiple boxes of sushi. There was also an enormous box of really tasty red and green grapes. Because of the huge windfall, we didn't even regulate on the sushi... it was a complete free-for-all. After the rush, we still had tons of sushi, which we put in the fridge.

When I came in today I found that the computer lab had been set up, and people were inside using it. I was very excited and wanted to spend some time in there in case clients needed help. I told Gina, and she said it was fine for me to hang out in there. When I told her I'd also help Gwendolyn out in the kitchen if she needed it, she said it wasn't necessary and that she wouldn't need any help. I found that comment a little weird, since during the rush time, there's no way Gwendolyn could handle things alone. Anyway, one comment led to another, and eventually Gina went over to talk to Gwendolyn about how I will now be working in the computer lab instead of the kitchen, and that Stanford volunteers are not supposed to be helping her out because they work with the Opp Center and not Gwendolyn's organization, etc. It was all pretty unnecessary, and the episode made it clear to me that Gwendolyn and Gina had some issues. I could see that, since Gwendolyn seems a little hard-headed, much like the lady Thelma in New Orleans that was very set in her ways. Things seemed to be getting territorial at the Opp Center between the kitchen and the rest, but I assured Gwendolyn that she should just find me if she needed help.

The computer lab is really nice. The computers have fast Internet connections and they are set up nicely in a room with tables along all of the walls. In total there are about 7 machines, like a real computer lab. I hung out in there for a while, and told the people in there to ask me for any help they needed. But I was surprised to see that people knew what they were doing. I didn't get the sense that anyone who was using the computers needed any help/training, but I guess more investigation will be required to determine that for certain.

Cadillac was around so we started talking some more. He started telling me more about his family and his background growing up in Texas, which seemed pretty normal. He had a father that he looked up to and respected, lived in a house with brothers and sisters, etc. I don't think I got to understand how he became unhoused and living in Palo Alto. He mentioned that the land his family owned in Texas has an oil rig set up on it, and the oil company maintains the equipment and gives the family money for the oil extracted. Caddy gets checks every once in a while for about $22. That's really low, and I wonder if the family is being taken advantage of.

Continuing with the theme of spending money on unnecessary items, Cadillac showed me the paperwork for his novelty license plate, "OG Raidr", which he hasn't been able to claim because of unpaid parking tickets. Caddy has a trailer or some storage container attached to a truck, which is his main possession. He talked about how he has all of his clothes arranged in shelves in the trailer for easy access. He said he chooses to live in his car instead of with a sister and her boyfriend because if he goes there to charge his cellphone, they would make him pay part of the power bill. It's interesting how people living on the line economically pay attention to every penny of expense.

When I asked him about how/where he sleeps, he talked about a time when he used to sleep in the little corner behind a Carl's Jr. drive-through window. He joked that it was a good spot because he would get a wakeup call when people came through for breakfast. He now sleeps in a supermarket parking lot, where I presume he parks his vehicle. He said he had relationships with most of the workers at the market, who all know him and let him be. He did have to avoid a certain supervisor, however, that gave him a hard time. I wonder if homeless people ever get a good night's sleep when they're always on the lookout for someone harrassing them or telling them to move, since they have no property of their own. I wonder if they even know what it means to have a good rest.

As I was getting ready to leave I saw a long line outside the clothes closet. Apparently people were waiting to get winter coats that had been donated. The jackets were nice, hooded with the water-proof microfibre like material, and thick. They were all identical, black jackets. I smiled to myself thinking that the homeless in PA will all be wearing that jacket this winter, almost like a uniform for "Team Homeless." I wonder if they would respond to that idea with pride or shame.

Opportunity Center Week #3 - Cadillac

Today was another very busy day in the kitchen. It now is clear that Whole Foods does a regular delivery during my shift, and that draws a rowdy mob to the window. Most of the clients know that the food's coming in so they hang around, waiting.

Typically Whole Foods gives us several boxes (about 2 hauling cart fulls) of pastries, packaged fruits and vegetables, dips, and soup, as well as fruit on occasion, and of course, sushi. We lay the pastries out on large cookie sheets for people to just come and pick up. Sushi is dealt out by us by hand, since it is a hot ticket item and we want to prevent hoarders. Each person only gets a single sushi pack. One lady asked if the fish on her sushi could be cooked in the microwave. Although it seemed to work, the kitchen ended up smelling for a while. We decided to not make a habit of cooking people's sushi for them.

Today I got to spend some time with Cadillac, who had dropped into the center. I first met Cadillac a couple weeks ago at a Night Outreach event on campus, called "dinner with the homeless." Dave "Cadillac" Wormley and a few other local unhoused individuals came in and gave their stories about what it meant to be homeless. Caddy asked a series of interesting questions to us (the students) including "what would you do if you were homeless right now?". The best I could come up with was to contact friends/family near whereever I was for immediate help. In the medium term, I would stay with a family member until I found a job, which would be my first priority since it will allow me to get on my own two feet.

The other big idea he brought up was that he wanted to set up a system to connect unhoused but skilled people like himself with potential employers. For example, Caddy is a bicycle repair expert, and he would like to publish that for private or business people to see. The group brainstormed about potential solutions, and we considered the idea of possibly designing a web-interface, as well as working with Craigslist. Another volunteer, Dawn, was really enthusiastic about making it happen, so she and I will begin a needs-finding investigation to see if we can come up with a solution that works for the local unhoused individuals (as well as potential employers).

Anyway, Cadillac was there today during my shift, so we starting talking about what's been going on with him. One thing I noticed immediately was that he seemed different than he did at the dinner, where he seemed a lot more formal and proper. At the Opp Center, where he's in his element, he was much more loose and open. We talked about his cell phone, which he really seems to prize. He recently purchased a headset for it, which he was proudly sporting, and talked about how he wanted the wireless kind but couldn't afford it. Although it seemed to me that he wanted to buy it anyway. He also showed me all the features on his cell phone, where he has subscription to ESPN content. He can view all kinds of sports stats, news, and even video highlights all on his phone. I thought this was all crazy given that he doesn't even have a home, but I held back my judgements. The easy reaction is to call Cadillac wasteful of his resources since he's poor and should have better uses for his money. But I think it comes down to human nature. Rich and poor, all people are irrational to some extent, lack discipline. I think that Cadillac having sports on ESPN or buying beer (which he had in his bag) are just ways for him to feel more normal or satisfy his own guilty pleasures/psychological needs. I think he's smart enough to know when to draw the line, so I think it's ok.

He also talked about his family, which seems pretty big. Most of it is back in Texas, where they even own property that his father had passed down. He spoke about his family and his father with a lot of pride. It also was apparent that Caddy is a pretty intelligent guy. His nickname "Cadillac" comes from the fact that his father drove one and so did he, and he knows a lot about cars in general. He also knows a lot about bicycles. Currently he is working as a bicycle repairman, from what I understand. He's been fixing bikes for 30 years, and it is clear that he knows what his stuff. I take him to see my bike and suggest improvements. He talks about re-painting it and also ways to get a chain guard on it, which I was told by the bike shop was impossible without paying a lot of money. I hope I get a chance to get Cadillac to work on it for me.

I hung out with Michael for a while. He's just a quiet guy who everyone seems to respect. He also seems really smart, almost like he's educated but just decided not to try in life. When I ask Michael where Rodney is, he tells me that he had broken parole earlier and was now back in jail. I was taken aback by that a little. This was a guy working with me, and though I thought he was a little shady, found him to be pretty nice and would probably have trusted him. Apparently he got caught stealing.

While me and Michael are talking, an older guy in a wheelchair named "Quasar" comes up and starts chatting with Michael. Quasar has a boombox and is playing some 60s Temptation-style music. Really nice stuff. It looks like he records radio onto a cassette for his own use, something I used to do a lot when I was young. Anyway, he has this song that Michael's "just got to hear" by the Dramatics. I don't remember the song's name, but it was really nice. I throw in that the Dramatics did a song with Snoop Dogg once, "Doggy Dogg World". Michael doesn't believe me, but we get it verified by someone else.

Opportunity Center Week #2 - Kitchen Duty

This week I helped Gwendolyn in the kitchen for most of the day. Gwendoln is a short-haired, no-nensense black lady sent from another local service organization who apparently will be running the kitchen during my shifts. We were serving burritos that we would warm up in the microwaves, pastries, and the everyday noodles, oatmeal, etc. In the middle of the day we got a bunch of stuff dropped off by Whole Foods: salads, fruit bowls, rice bowls, and the grand prize, sushi plates. Apparently they are a hot item at the center. I was shocked at how much really high quality food they were just giving away... these are items yuppies in PA routinely overpay for at the market. It felt great seeing the clients take the food. I got the impression that some of them come to expect to get such luxury items... not very humble or grateful.

Towards the end of the day Gwendolyn and I are talking about how a few of the clients come in and just eat all day. She was bothered by these people and showed frustration at having to serve them. Then she got into how she herself had been homeless for 7 years, so she knows what it's like to be in need. That's why she had little tolerance for the greedy people. The conversation got emotional and she even shed some tears relating her story of her past. As I could not possibly relate, I just nodded and tried to understand. Still, I personally do not feel compelled to treat the greedy clients different than the humble ones. But since I was in Gwendolyn's kitchen, I didn't want to undermine her. For example, at one point she told people we were "out of water" because she was tired of clients taking the jug she would fill from the sink tap and pouring a bunch of it into their own large containers. I thought this was ridiculous, given that there was a faucet right there in the kitchen. But not wanting to cross her, I turned a few clients down. Later, I regretted it when Gina came by asking why clients were being denied water.

One client picked up a burrito from the tray and while unwrapping it asked me what was in it. When I told him it was bean and cheese, he suddenly got mad that there was no meat and threw it in the trash. I told him he shouldn't be wasting food like that, and he said that he couldn't put it back since he touched it. I told him with some firmness that that's fine, but next time ask before touching the food. He sensed that I was upset, but I told him I wasn't mad at him, but mad that food had been wasted. He thought for a while, then came back and thanked me for "putting him in his place." He said I was right, that he shouldn't be wasting food and sometimes he needs someone to be firm with him on these sort of things.

Opportunity Center Week #1 - Orientation

This will be the first of a series of posts about my volunteer work at the Palo Alto Opportunity Center. I signed up for the work through a group at Stanford called Night Outreach, which I originally saw tabling on campus when I first started school. Night Outreach refers to a weekly walk on Friday nights where students gather some food from their dining halls where they have meal plans and go out on University Ave. and hand out meals, spending time with the homeless and trying to connect. I thought the idea was cool, though I found it a little odd that the walk was on University Ave., where it is super rich and not a place where I would guess a lot of homeless/needy people would be hanging out. Why don't they walk in East Palo instead?

Anyway, at the first meeting, I also signed up for two hours of volunteer work at the Opportunity Center, which is a new drop-in center off of El Camino near the Palo Alto Caltrain station. My thinking was that this would be a great way to engage with the underside of my local community, and to bring in some regular service in my schedule.

Below is what I wrote to Paul, the president of Night Outreach. Paul is a really mellow guy, a grad student in philosophy who is exploring spirituality. At the first meeting everyone was asked to describe someting unique about themselves as an icebreaker, so I talked about my Vipassana experience. That piqued Paul's interest, so we later met to talk about religion and spirituality. But that's for another blog entry. Here is what I wrote to him about my first week:

As I'm approaching the opportunity center, the first thing I notice is that the building is really nice. It is clear that it is newly built. When I got to the center I asked to speak with Gina, who is the volunteer coordinator for Stanford and also runs the day-to-day operations at the center. I expected Gina to be an old lady, but was surprised when I saw the young woman behind the desk.

Gina is amazing. She's that rare person whose heart is so big that you can just feel it by being around her. She seems middle aged, with straight black hair and baggy skater jeans. She had that rare ability to command complete attention/control/respect of the people at the center while at the same time being loved by everyone. Although she has to be disciplinarian sometimes, you can tell that the people at the center really appreciate her. For example, when I would be talking to her, if a client approached and asked her something, she would say something like, "excuse me, I'm having a conversation with Neil right now. You are being rude. I'll be with you in a minute", and then quietly ask me to continue. And the clients, often big gruff men, would comply comepletely! This sort of command and assertiveness (but without any anger or hate) is what impressed me most about Gina. And unlike others, she has that unconditional compassion for the people. She's not there just because it's a job. I get the feeling that she would work there for free and nothing would change (if she's not already doing that).

Before I even get to introduce myself to Gina, someone in the common area yells that someone is having a seizure. I follow Gina outside and help the man up. I'm told to walk with him to the exam room and stay with him. The man's name is John. He is pretty new to the center. I got to talking with him and made my first connection. He had lived in SF (not Tenderloin) for a long time before coming down to PA. I got him an orange juice from the lunch truck parked next to the center and talked with him in the sun. I told him his breathing was erratic and he should take deep breaths. He said it helped. Some time later, merely hours after suffering a seizure, he was smoking a cigarette. When I asked him about it he said, "I can't quit" and shrugged his shoulders.

I got a tour of the facility and met the kitchen staff. I noticed that there was a computer center but it wasn't hooked up... I hope I can get a chance to teach basic skills to some of the clients.

Most of the rest of the time I spent talking with Rodney (a staffer at the center), Michael (a client, black guy with a bad leg who limps around), and the regular health worker/nurse Diana. We were just cracking jokes, laughing. It was fun. I asked Michael if he would like it if I could teach him how to use a computer in the lab. He replied that he doesn\'t know how to read or write. That caught me off guard completely. I came back by saying I could at least teach him to play games, just to pass time.