Selfish vs. Selfless service

From this service experience I have discovered a real dichotomy between selfish and selfless service. What is selfish service? I define it as performing an act of service for others for selfish gain. Examples of gain include recognition (fame), power (authority over others), and material. It is clearly an inferior form of service to the selfless variety, where the giver of the service expects nothing. I have found that here at the Red Cross the majority of volunteers are engaged in selfish service. We are all doing a positive thing, but for a few wrong reasons.

Why is driving the ERV the most popular job for Red Cross volunteers? Because it gives you the glory of handing that meal to the person in need. You are the face of all the hard work that went into delivering that meal to that location. It's like the relation between an actor on stage with all of the backstage crew. Many of the volunteers insist on just doing this work. They do not want to do Campbro washing, which is thankless. When Beverly and Deb, the two ladies who do my run in the morning, went out and bought extra blankets and lanterns to satisfy a special need for a client on the route, they wanted to be the ones to hand it over. It is not enough that the person gets it. They want to be front stage.

Contrast that to the work of the Souther Baptists, who stay at the kitchen and just cook the food. They live on the parking lot itself in tents. They prepare all of their own food in addition to the meals being served. They don't have access to a bunch of rental cars to get away, or laundry service that folds their stuff all nice, or a debit card for whatever personal expenditures they'd like to make. This is no vacation for them, which I believe many RC volunteers think it is. The kicker is that they never see the people whom they serve. In my book, that is selfless service. They do the work because they know that someone is being helped, that's it. They're not interested in glory. They just want to be of service.

I believe I am as guilty of selfish service as many of these volunteers. I wanted to be on the ERV to interface with the people. I wanted to get something from them as I gave. I think that in general giving to get back is fine, because it motivates you to give more. But I think too much of that sort of service perverts the service itself. Your heart eventually leaves the place it should be, which is focussing on the people in need. I hope that in my next service adventure and beyond I can have the courage to engage in pure selfless service.

Tidbits:
- living and sleeping with 500 other people has taught me two things:

1. at least 30% of people snore
2. at least 45% of people smoke cigarettes

- on the run today I met with the old lady again, who gave me a great big hug. She asked me if I had a grandmother, I said I did but now I have two. Then she started introducing me as her grandson. I told her I called my grandmother Baa, so I would do the same for her. So, yes friends, there is now a Baa in the backwoods of Kiln, MS. As soon as I pull up and she sees me behind the wheel, she throws up her hands smiling and her eyes get big. What a sweet old lady.

- The volunteer population is dropping fast. It's gotta be close to 400. I think less and less people are volunteering to be deployed. Coming out here, I, like a lot of people, assummed that 7 weeks after the hurricane, things would be a lot better. I was anxious to leave because I thought I would "miss the disaster". The thing is, though, that people aren't even rebuilding yet... they are still cleaning up debris. I talked to a construction worker on a street, and he said that it will take at least a year just to clean up. I pointed out that a year from now is hurricane season. Meanwhile, people will be living in tents with no power, no running water, etc. Serious third-world conditions, and it looks like it will be so for a while.